Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it…..Steve Maraboli
Success is a result of a mindset shift from being a victim to creating winning results. It’s very simple when you look at it. Any one of us can bring success in our work and within our lives. How? By eliminating the mindset of CAN’T! We hear many motivational messages, for example – Nothing is Impossible, You Can Do It, and so on. All these messages are true! It is because we can do anything we choose to. It is a choice! If we choose not to succeed, we’re staying in a small box with a small mindset. People who choose to succeed, go outside that box. Just like that.
Changing our mindset is no easy task, since it is developed over a period of time and is a result of some strong internal and external factors. Our mindset propels the choices we make for our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Many times the choices we make in these directions are a result of the mindset we acquire as per our environment, emotions, relationships, incidents, religion, beliefs and so on. Many of these factors, instead of developing us and allowing us to grow, pull us back. Just something as simple as being aware, and changing our thinking can change our life. Having an open and positive mindset is a game changer.
Neuro-lingustic programming (NLP) can help us spot and change negative thought patterns, assumptions and processes, thus allowing us to live a more enjoyable and meaningful life.Success is a state of mind and not an elusive phenomenon. To crack this, we have to understand the psychology of success so that we can overcome failure. NLP helps us crack this very well. We will have a separate blog on the Psychology of Success. Here we will concentrate on how NLP can help us change our mindset to achieve success in life.
The great thing about Mind-Set is that it’s not ‘set’ in stone! It can be changed. NLP shows few ways (part of NLP Tools and Strategies) that canchange our thinking, enabling usto change our life
- Being Awareand Choosing our Mind State.
One powerful way to do this is to actually consciously recognise how our mindset is influencing our thoughts and actions. When working towards a goal or dealing with a situation, instead of rushing headlong into the process with the same mindset and approach we would normally have, we should take a step back, stop and ask our self what our likely state of mind is and should be.
There are two aspects that can drive our decisions. Paranoia or Pronoia. If it is paranoia, we operate from a total state of fear about our activity where we feel everybody and everything is against us. (Note, this is not as having the medical condition – paranoia.) If it is pronoia, we operate from the mind state that everythingand everybody are on our side. Now we have to consider the actions and outcomes of operating from both these mind states. If we operate from the fear state, the outcome would be self-doubt, distrust and failures. But with a changed mind set, if we operate from the pronoia state, the outcome would bemotivation and success. Just think about it. If weare truly honest with ourselves, that wereally want to succeed, then we would naturally opt for pronoia.
2. Just Do It
Many times we do not feel like doing something we have committed to do. We procrastinate and keep shifting the tasks to another day. We are sure we will get it completed next day, i.e. If Tomorrow Comes. Not feeling like exercising? Do it anyway. Not feeling like finishing the article, just do it anyway. Push yourself. The payout, that is, the joy of completing what we have set out to do and fulfilling a commitment, is huge. Not just that, as we get into a habit of fulfilling commitments, it increases our self-confidence, and slowly our mindset begins to change and we start our journey towards success with the new growth mindset.
3. Anchoring
One of the strongest and commonly practised NLP technique. People have so many beliefs and experiences that limit them from achieving their potential. The goal of anchoring is to elicit positive responses at will, by associating a particular mental and emotional state to an anchor, which can be an image, a word, or a gesture.
We have practiced anchoring many times in our lives, consciously or unconsciously. I remember, when I was in school, and wanted to break my habit of nail biting, I would put a rubber band on my wrist. Anytime I felt like biting my nail, I would snap the rubber band. The sting of the rubber band snapping on my wrist would anchor me to my resolution not to bite my nails. We set up NLP anchors to intentionally feel resourceful in the right situations. In NLP, “anchoring” refers to the process of associating an internal response with some external or internal trigger so that the response may be quickly, and sometimes covertly, re-accessed.
Let’s understand this with an example.
You have been feeling demotivated lately and this attitude is creating a negative influence where your work is concerned, your emotions are concerned. You know you have to and want to come out of this state. How anchoring can help you? You can do it yourself or attend a program where an experienced NLP Practitioner can help you anchor.
- Sit in a quiet place.
- Think of the situation that is troubling you. Park it.
- Now think of a time or situation that brought you joy and happiness.
- Bring in sensory cues associated with that state (e.g. what you saw, felt, smelt, heard).
- Bring this memory to its most intense point and then associate your feelings to an anchor (e.g. twist a ring on your finger, press the thumb or your right hand onto the palm of your left hand, or press your thumb and forefinger together). Anchor the pleasant feeling there.
Take a short break and repeat the steps above.
Now whenever you need an emotional pick-me-up, you can repeat this exercise. The minute you do, you recollect the happy memories thus transferring your current sad or unhappy emotional state to a happy and confident state. Do this with awareness.
4. Say ‘No No’ to Comfort Zones
We all have comfort zones that we have so lovingly created for ourselves. It’s a very cozy and safe zone we have created for ourselves. Trust me, it would be very difficult for even wild horses to drag me out of my comfort zone if I did not want to.
But that’s exactly what we must do. Time and again, if we are looking for growth and success, we must come out of our comfort zone. Our mindset will only begin to change if we allow ourselves to be exposed to the possibilities of change. Although it will make us feel a bit uncomfortable at first, we slowly start looking at things from a different viewpoint, thus opening doors to various opportunities for growth
5. Eliminate ‘NOs’to Create ‘YESs’. Make it Happen
Stop your ‘but’s’. I think I can do this, but….;. I want to come to the seminar, but…..; I have a good knowledge about this subject and can speak on it, but…… STOP YOUR BUTs!
We could also be creating our ‘buts’. This is important. For instance, “I want to lose 10 kgsbut I’m so busy, I don’t get time to exercise or go to the gym; ” “I want to buy my own home, but I have some old debts to pay off and cannot afford now,” “I want to do that course, but I don’t have the time or finances for that.”
Now how would it be it we eliminate the “but”. Just imagine how it would feel if these external factors weren’t really a problem.
This can be done with a simple but powerful technique in changing our thinking. All we do is tap into our emotions and eliminate the roadblocks that takes up so much of our energy because we are focusing so hard on it. Instead, we begin to shift our focus from the but’s and toward the “how’s.”How can I do it? How can I make it happen? What are the ways? Write it down. Create an action plan. Act on it and make it happen.
The Bottom Line Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) main objective is to help us live a more enjoyable and meaningful life. Although, where solutions are concerned, one cap doesn’t fit all. Changing mindset is work in progress but definitely rewarding. Slowly with a deeper understanding of ourselves, we get into the habit of making the right decisions and approaching life and it moments in a more positive and confident manner.
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