Your ability to communicate with others will account for a full 85% of success in your business and in your life…..Brian Tracy – Motivational public speaker and self-development author.
Undeniably, words can inspire, words can destroy.Words can make or break a relationship; Words can accelerate or kill careers.Words can fetch you that much awaited project, words could destroy your chances too. So, choose yours well.
Although this blog is mainly about the importance of using power words to enhance success in our careers, our lives, the following story, depicts the stark power that words can have and the outcome that follows,and is a hard-hitting example of ‘word power’. In a certain place in our globe, there is a practice that trees cannot be cut when they are still green. So what do the people living there do if they want to fell a tree? A group of people would go near the tree, shout out uncomplimentary, derogatory and toxic words and sentences. They would do this every day till one day the tree dries up and dies. Then they cut it. Whether be it human, animals, birds, trees or anything living, words can both hurt and inspire. Every single spoken wordhas a huge influence on lives and can even help transform a person’s perspective about themselves, hugely.
If we go back into memory, during childhood, we remember how when certain words were spoken, for e.g. ‘This painting is so beautiful’; ‘baby, you sang beautifully. We are so proud of you’; “You solved such a tough math problem. Wow I am impressed’. These words spoken, especially by people who have a strong influence in our lives, did it not bring a smile to our faces, make us feel few inches taller? Didn’t it bring in a sense of worth, a feeling of achievement and a wanting to do even better next time.
What if the words were said in a negative manner – e.g. ‘What have you made? You call that painting? Why do you waste time on such useless things? ; ‘Your voice was raspy? Couldn’t you have practiced some more? Listen to your friend sing, she does it so well’; “You think that’s a tough math problem?Grow up! Else nobody would even consider you’. These words spoken, especially by people who have a strong influence over our lives, did it break or finish something in us?
This doesn’t mean all negative words are bad. Sometimes, a negative word, said in a certain context, can spur us in the right direction and make us achieve results. In our growing up years, many times we hear such negative words or criticism which has a strong effect on us. But the impact does not steer us towards negativity, but spurs us up, to do even better because we know it was well meant.
It’s a dog eats dog world. Many people operate with a crab mentality. This behavior is known as survival behavior and sometimes essential. The more likely you are able to bring a person down, the more power you have over him and the more chances for your success. This is the kind of wrapped mentality people operate with, not knowing that it should be just the opposite. Hence negative words are more abundant than positive ones. If we want to change this, we begin with ourselves from within ourselves. We start by first changing our vocabulary and mindset. We start by using the power of words to create success for ourselves and for others. The more you give, the more you receive. Neuro- Linguistic Programming (NLP) has the vocabulary (using power words) tool to help you in this journey in smart and effective communication.
“Simply by changing your habitual vocabulary — the words you consistently use to describe the emotions of your life — you can instantaneously change how you think, how you feel, and how you live.”….. Tony Robbins, American author, public speaker, life coach, and philanthropist.
Re-framing our Vocabulary
Our conversations are so full of metaphors, which we use abundantly in our everyday conversations. It’s time to consciously make note of what we say or how we use words.
‘Oh, I am so busy today, I have so much to do, I don’t know if I could even finish’. Just thinking or saying these words can make you feel your shoulders and body become heavier and a huge loss of energy and excitement to even start. What if we change this to, ‘Wow, another beautiful day. Today maximum tasks on my to do list will be accomplished. That’s my goal for today.” This could make you feel more energized, confident and ready to take on challenges and do a good job about it.
Words like, “It’s too hard for me to do”; “I don’t think I can make it”; “I am not as good as you think I am” will only pull you backwards. If you re-frame the sentences with powerful and positively decisive words, it will move you forward and create something which is transformational.
NLP uses tools like the Meta Model and the Milton Model which are tried and tested systems and methodscreated to enable a person inspire vision and recreate articulation of experiences to the effect that the person knows exactly how to perceive a certain situation and use the right power words to make that particular situation to work for him. These systems involve all the three senses – Auditory, Visual and Kinesthetic, since we communicate with the help of all three senses.
To conclude:
Our external world is full of thoughts and structures. What is important is that these thoughts and structures be presented in the right form and manner to get maximum value. NLP helps individuals create this value through the many tools and strategies adopted so that we human beings get the best value for our efforts. This also includes our communication efforts.
Excellence in any form or matter is cultivated over time, with practice, dedication and patience. Being excellent in the correct way to communicate will not only enhance a person in his or her own entirety, but will also bring value in the lives of every living being they touch, through the power of their words.
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